The caregiver's life often offers precious little opportunity for respite and interaction with others. The pandemic has made this especially challenging, since infection control involves social distancing when your loved one is vulnerable to illness. This isolates us from the usual activities and support systems we employ to help us survive and thrive in our circumstances.
Caregivers are resourceful, though.
We're adept at adapting to change.
At our house, we learned to make home our vacation destination. Before our son Kevin's spinal cord injury in 1997, we loved our frequent family trips, and we especially enjoyed the National Parks. One of my husband's favorite places to visit was Yellowstone National Park.
When we became full-time caregivers, our traveling stopped. We adapted by opening our home to friends and family. Over the years, we hosted many barbecues, dinners, holiday celebrations, and themed birthday parties. If we couldn't go have fun, we brought the fun to us.
Then a pandemic hit town and my back gave out. Life drastically changed for us in the last few years. Our outside activities now mostly consist of grocery and take-out runs. Trips are not an option. I can't even throw myself into my gardening like I used to.
But life has to be more than survival.
Last year, feeling nostalgic for our old haunts, I invited my husband along on a "roadtrip" through the National Parks as we work together on puzzles of our favorite haunts. He liked the idea, so we set up a cozy corner of our living room with a rustic table, stools, and warm Edison lights.
When we're not on a trip, the corner serves as a place to "eat out" or play a game of checkers. What we do isn't as important as the moments we spend together.
A bonus is the small effort we have to expend in the process. We're always tired. With an inviting corner waiting for us, we're more likely to take advantage of the chance to take a small break together. We also have a couple of tables and chairs in our favorite spots outside to share coffee and "break time," if the weather permits. We discovered that a table under the large trellis on the back deck served as a pleasant outdoor "cafe" where we shared dessert or a plate of cheese and crackers. Often we only had time for a cup of coffee.
The important thing, we learned, is to make the world stop for a moment, so we can just be...alive. Together.
When things are going well, it's easy to take the small joys for granted. When life is hard, it's crucial to find the joy where we live.
Maybe puzzles and board games aren't your thing. What could you do to bring more joy into your caregiving experience? What could you change to make your world a more welcome place to live?
If you've already been doing this for some time, we'd love to hear your ideas. What has worked for you?
