Pioneer Files: Tell Yourself This on the Hard Days - A Homeschooling Veteran Speaks

 

Mayflower vans and vague memories

Some girls dream of being the first woman president or an astronaut. My young childhood memories consisted of random mental snapshots of places we lived as my father chased a career in broadcasting. Even as a child, I dreamed of a life without a Mayflower van packed with everything we owned sitting in the driveway. 

I wanted a real home, to be a wife and mom. I dreamed of roots, planted deep into something solid and real and secure. When I found my prince, married at eighteen, and began our family, my life felt complete.

A people-watcher and student of human nature from a young age, I figured my stints at babysitting and the trials of having a younger brother had sufficiently prepared me for parenthood. Also, I read Dr. Spock's book Baby and Child Care. That sealed the deal.

I was set.

A better word would be "deluded."

Little brothers are challenging, for sure. And babysitting had taught me to change a diaper. Nothing I'd experienced in my short life, though, had truly prepared me for motherhood. 

Growing a new life into adulthood is the most beautiful experience in the world. The surprise is learning that parenting doesn't have an expiration date. As I had four more children and continued to grow up into my role as a wife and mom, I often found myself watching my parents wade through the seasons of loss and rebirth in their family.

I began to rethink this whole parenting thing. Not in the way of wanting to quit. 

Realizing that parenting is never over.

As much as it hurt to see my folks' struggles and pain, I realized they were blazing the path ahead for me, as they had always done. The next generation learns how to live - and die - by watching the generation before them.

Learning from their mistakes.

Making new ones of our own.

Finding Jesus, the Father's heart, and the way home through it all.

Just for you today

Some things about parenting get easier over the years. Some things get harder. For sure, new challenges arise just as we conquer the old ones. 

If life's been especially hard lately, it's time for a little break. Stop beating yourself up for your real or perceived failures. Pour yourself a cup of coffee, go to a quiet place (if that's possible), and soak in these ten Scriptures from the Father's heart for you. Remember He loves you, He's fighting for you, and it's going to be okay.

Ten Things to Tell Yourself on the Hard Days

And looking at them, Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the eagerly awaiting creation waits for the revealing of the sons and daughters of God.

- Romans 8:18-19

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For the sake of His name.

- Psalm 23:3 

 

She has done what she could.... 

- Mark 14:8 

 

And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

- Esther 4:14 KJV

 

How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sand.

- Psalm 139:17-18 

 

For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, by having served and by still serving the saints.

- Hebrews 6:10 

 

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for a lifetime;

Weeping may last for the night,

But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

 - Psalm 30:5

 

Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs  And carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.

- Isaiah 40:11 

I will raise my eyes to the mountains;

From where will my help come?

2 

My help comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

3 

He will not allow your foot to slip;

He who watches over you will not slumber.

4 

Behold, He who watches over Israel

Will neither slumber nor sleep. 

 Psalm 121:1-4

 

It's a New Year...Time to Look Up!

Shaking off the dust of an old year?

And she smiles at the future.

- Proverbs 31:25

A news commentator recently mentioned how eager she was to "shake the dust of 2023" off her feet as 2024 dawns. For many, this year has been one of unprecedented challenges and sorrow. Most of us will gladly join the symbolic gesture to pitch the baggage of the old year for the chance at a fresh start. 

Yet others look with trepidation to the coming year as storm clouds gather over the nations and America morphs into an unrecognizable and polarized sea of unrest. The air is charged with the collective sense that we are holding our breath for the next blow. What will the new year bring?

Oddly enough, 2023 was one of my best years in recent memory. Never have I been more excited about the future.

But when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.

- Luke 21:28

Anyone who knows our family's story understands our long fight to serve God under trial. This year we emerged from hard battles fought concurrently on different fronts. I awaken each day filled with gratitude for the healing and victory our Savior has won for us. I understand more about His grace and fierce love toward those He calls His own. I feel less worthy to be loved by Him but filled with joy that He calls me His own. 

As the old year winds down, more battles loom on the horizon... as they always will. The fight is not mine, though. A mighty Deliverer is my fortress and shield. God knows what's coming, and He can handle it. He's more than enough: He's truly everything, and He's on the move.

Time to Look Up

If you feel broken and bowed, there is never a better time than today to let the Lord lift those burdens off your tired shoulders. Straighten up, lift your face to heaven, and trust that what you see happening before you is the culmination of history as the Biblical prophecies of old are being fulfilled before your eyes. God is at work in your life. He eagerly awaits the new heaven and earth where righteousness dwells with those who love Him. He is coming back to restore His beloved creation and destroy evil. Until then, life in abundance can begin today in the secret place of your heart, under the safety of His wings.

Want to know more?

If you've never read our story, you can find it here . For a limited time, if you send me an email or write me at Pam Thorson, P.O. Box 42, Kendrick, ID 83537, I'll send you my Caregiver Bundle at no charge. This bundle consists of my first two books, Song in the Night and Out from the Shadows: 31 Devotions for the Weary Caregiver. Send no money. This is my new year's gift to you.

God's doing amazing things in our world!

For more information on what God is doing in our world today, visit Blood Falls and sign up for my newsletter. Check out the incredible true stories and Biblical research behind my new novel, Blood Falls, at Behind Blood Falls.

Blessings and Happy New Year,

Pam

Christmas Cards Are Looking Iffy again This Year

 

Holidays can be hard on caregivers and families.

It's the last week before Christmas, and a stack of Christmas cards sits unsigned on my desk. My dreams of homemade fudge and divinity are melting under the heat of the day's urgencies. Stirring up a batch of our family's traditional lefse has been pushed to a "maybe" for New Year's. The reality is I'll be doing well to get the presents wrapped in time to open.

'Tis the season.

Parents and caregivers always told to "take care of ourselves," but that's a sketchy task most of the year and more impossible than usual during the holiday season. The extra effort involved just to make a batch of cookies can be daunting, even for those who love Christmas as much as I do.

Nostalgia creates a haunted road this time of year.

Reliving Christmas past can be comforting. It can also bring to the forefront all that we have lost. For those who have buried loved ones or are adjusting to other life changes, living in a new normal filled with loss can be overwhelming. How can we cherish the memories without letting them throw us into depression?

The manger awaits.

Christmas is about one thing: Celebrating the birth of our Savior.

Jesus came to deliver us from an empty existence on Earth and an eternity of torment without Him. Christmas equals Hope. Christmas is the reason people suffering around the world can celebrate from prisons and hospitals and sickbeds. The knowledge that the pain of this life can't be compared to the glory to be revealed in us is a powerful reason to rejoice. Death has already been defeated. 

Those who have accepted the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ for their salvation will never die.

They just change residence. All creation awaits the moment the Lord returns to finish the redemption, which is the resurrection of their bodies to eternal life. When our existence is viewed through lens of eternity, every day is worth celebrating! Gratitude fills us with joy and puts every event of our lives into proper perspective. Then we can cherish our good memories for the treasures they are and bear the indignities of today knowing they will pass. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

- Romans 8:18

Until then, we work...and rest.

Our duties will be there as long as we have others who depend on us. Cookies and lefse may or may not happen. Christmas cards are looking iffy. The yearning for the glow of Christmas past will still haunt us at times.

But Today is filled with the joy of hope because Jesus came two thousand years ago. A new Future awaits!

The Gift of Existence

It would have been easier to die.

Kevin Thorson lay paralyzed in the grass of a church lawn in Canada, unable to move or breathe. Moments earlier, he missed a rotation while practicing backflips with a friend. He fell on his head and broke his neck nearly at his skull. As the friend ran for help, he lay there alone, fading into blackness as he fell unconscious.

He told us later that it was at the moment he felt himself near death that the presence of God came to him. The sense of the next world was intensely powerful, forever making this side of the veil seem the impostor. It would have been quick, even merciful, to have slipped quietly away to join God.

God wasn't there to take Kevin to heaven, though.

Instead, He had a message for Kevin. A voice so real Kevin thought it was audible told him, “You’re going to be okay.”

He awakened not okay. He was in a desperate fight for his life. Emergency personnel worked feverishly to keep him alive until he could be put on life support. He endured a helicopter ride to a larger hospital in Calgary, a doctor’s push for euthanasia, surgeries, pneumonia, bronchoscopy, paralysis, loss of privacy, and much pain in the first weeks before he returned home.

Later he endured serious infections landing him in intensive care. He had more surgeries for kidney stones. He spent two years on the ventilator before weaning off it during his waking hours, a feat declared an impossibility by his doctors. 

He regained more than they expected, but not enough for a normal life.

The loss was profound. It came in layers as the reality of the depth of his disability struck home. Some days he grieved over the dreams he would never see realized. Other days he longed for just the feel of grass beneath his feet again.

As victories came, like breathing on his own and taking his first steps and running a computer, his soul began to revive. He began to truly appreciate being alive. Watching him struggle to live out his faith despite profound brokenness, I began to see how completely God had brought to pass what He promised Kevin: 

He would be okay.

Existence, in all its facets, is a gift.

It is the man who has been told he would never breathe on his own who appreciates the feeling of air in his lungs.

It is the man who has endured great pain who appreciates a day when his body is at peace.

It is the man who once lost all feeling who takes joy in the warmth of the sun on his arms, the softness of a kitten’s fur beneath his fingers, and his legs under him again as he takes his first shaky steps.

It is the man who has had everything taken away who treasures anything given back.

Only when faced with loss do we truly understand the value of life.

To exist is to be. We are made in mirror image of our Creator, who calls Himself the great “I AM.” We were made to experience. We were made to feel, to love, to laugh, to hurt.

Those who say, “I would never want to live like that” must give room to those who do want to live, even if it is “like that.” The disabled and the vulnerable and the aged and the pre-born have no duty to die because their existence is inconvenient for others.

Yes, it would have been easier for Kevin to die that awful day in 1997. But what richness of life we would have missed in knowing him! The world is a better place because he exists.

Easier is not the same as better.

If you have ever contemplated how much easier it would be to be dead, talk to Kevin. He will tell you the gift is worth the fight. Check out the website Kevin founded and manages today. He is the owner/administrator of CMADDICT.com, a premier source of free Christian music and more. He would be glad to talk to you.

Photo Courtesy Grace Thorson 2023

There's Always Room for Hope

© Jules315 | Dreamstime.com - Superman Photo

I love these kinds of surprises.

"I think he can do much more than he's doing now," the physical therapist said as she helped my thirty-six-year-old son through a series of exercises. "I've seen people with a lot less do a lot more."

Music to my ears.

It's been over seventeen years since my son Kevin suffered a spinal injury in a fall. He was originally paralyzed from the neck down and was on life support for two years.

Today he can walk with help, run a computer, feed himself some foods, and feel or move nearly every part of his body.

Not paralyzed, just really tired.

His older brother Erik likes to joke that Kevin's not actually paralyzed, just "really tired."

He worked very hard during the first years to wean off the vent during his sleeping hours, move his body again in small ways, and fight off the regular complications of a high-level spinal cord injury.

Then his progress seemed to plateau. He and the family, now full-time caregivers, got too tired and discouraged to keep on fighting for a return to a normal body.

Kevin turned his attention to building a new life. We fell into a new kind of normal, accepting and enjoying the life we have. We've just been thankful to have each other and the good health to be home together.

Then a recent succession of injuries in the family forced us to reconsider transfer options. The Hoyler lift was out. Kevin can sit and walk to and from the wheelchair with help. An online search revealed that a lot has changed since Kevin was first injured in 1997. There's some awesome adaptive equipment out there.

A different kind of super man.

So Kevin has been traveling to an outpatient facility in a nearby city. There, we've been encouraged to believe again in what we've suspected all along: Kevin can do more. What amazing news for a man who was dubbed by one of his original surgeons as "another Christopher Reeve." For those of you who don't know who that is, Christopher Reeve was an actor who played the part of the comic book hero Superman in the movies. In 1995, Reeve was thrown from a horse and suffered a spinal cord injury that nearly killed him. He was totally paralyzed from the neck down and spent the rest of his life on life support. He died in 2004 from complications of his injury.

Today, Kevin is healthy and working hard on his exercises to awaken the old muscles and strengthen the ones he uses now. We're cautiously optimistic. The physical therapists want to try out the Rifton Tram in a couple of weeks and see if it will work for transfers and increased ambulation. We'll let you know how it goes.

Here's the link for the company.

http://www.rifton.com/products/lift-and-transfer-devices/rifton-tram


Don't you love surprises?

As a caregiver, have you found that it's easy to fall into a routine and forget to push for new progress with your loved one?

What adaptive equipment have you found that makes your life easier as a caregiver?