Christmas Cards Are Looking Iffy again This Year

 

Holidays can be hard on caregivers and families.

It's the last week before Christmas, and a stack of Christmas cards sits unsigned on my desk. My dreams of homemade fudge and divinity are melting under the heat of the day's urgencies. Stirring up a batch of our family's traditional lefse has been pushed to a "maybe" for New Year's. The reality is I'll be doing well to get the presents wrapped in time to open.

'Tis the season.

Parents and caregivers always told to "take care of ourselves," but that's a sketchy task most of the year and more impossible than usual during the holiday season. The extra effort involved just to make a batch of cookies can be daunting, even for those who love Christmas as much as I do.

Nostalgia creates a haunted road this time of year.

Reliving Christmas past can be comforting. It can also bring to the forefront all that we have lost. For those who have buried loved ones or are adjusting to other life changes, living in a new normal filled with loss can be overwhelming. How can we cherish the memories without letting them throw us into depression?

The manger awaits.

Christmas is about one thing: Celebrating the birth of our Savior.

Jesus came to deliver us from an empty existence on Earth and an eternity of torment without Him. Christmas equals Hope. Christmas is the reason people suffering around the world can celebrate from prisons and hospitals and sickbeds. The knowledge that the pain of this life can't be compared to the glory to be revealed in us is a powerful reason to rejoice. Death has already been defeated. 

Those who have accepted the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ for their salvation will never die.

They just change residence. All creation awaits the moment the Lord returns to finish the redemption, which is the resurrection of their bodies to eternal life. When our existence is viewed through lens of eternity, every day is worth celebrating! Gratitude fills us with joy and puts every event of our lives into proper perspective. Then we can cherish our good memories for the treasures they are and bear the indignities of today knowing they will pass. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

- Romans 8:18

Until then, we work...and rest.

Our duties will be there as long as we have others who depend on us. Cookies and lefse may or may not happen. Christmas cards are looking iffy. The yearning for the glow of Christmas past will still haunt us at times.

But Today is filled with the joy of hope because Jesus came two thousand years ago. A new Future awaits!

Pioneer Files: Sometimes the Glow Is from the Heat

 

While my care was employed in guarding against one fault, I was often surprised by another.

- Ben Franklin

 

Only now let us remember once more that God is to be our portion, and that knowingly and willingly we trust our lives and those of our children to Him; if He fails, we are done for; but how can He fail?

- C.T. Studd to his wife 

One morning she awakened with a sore throat. She and her husband had a disagreement before he left for work. The children were hard to awaken for school and grumpy at breakfast. As she gathered them together around the kitchen table and went through the motions of a prayer time before the day's lessons, a dull headache began to throb behind her eyes. An hour later, she was muddling her way through a page of Algebra I with her irritable teenager when her toddler ran into the room and tripped, dumping an entire glass of milk onto the floor.

It was all too much, and she erupted. She berated both children as she sopped up the mess from the carpet, knowing neither of them deserved it. The little one began to cry. Her teen looked away, reproach written upon his tense face. Stunned by the fierceness of her outburst, she dissolved into tears and retreated to the bathroom, completely undone by the realization she had Failed Again.

This was not what she had imagined it would be like to homeschool. She wondered if her parents were right. Maybe she didn't have the patience to work with her own children. Everyone had warned her that she would ruin them. Was her pride keeping her from doing what was best for the family?

She sank to her knees on the cold bathroom floor and sobbed. Just two words beat against her brain: What now?

 Nobody's perfect here.

Though the story above is fictional, it comes much too close to describing how many days went down during our twenty-four years of homeschooling, not because we didn't care, but because we wanted so much to do it right. Parents who choose to educate their children at home are typically conscientious people who demand much of themselves. They feel intense pressure to "produce," occasionally fueled by the criticism and watchful eyes of family and friends. Having made plain either their spoken or unspoken disapproval of the public school system, they now feel intense pressure to do better.

It's easy to criticize a system, but when that system has been challenged, suddenly it becomes a formidable giant against which to compare one's own efforts.

The usual chores and stresses of life won't automatically recede to make time and energy for the extra effort required for homeschool. No matter how we strive for a flexible and fun schedule, there are going to be days of mental stress, interruptions, and disagreements.

Each child, being fearfully and wonderfully made and all, has been gifted with his own unique personality. Being together for most of the day every day will inevitably reveal personality conflicts of some degree. Problems seething under the surface for some time will suddenly rise to the forefront and blast a hole in a parent's heart. Like a kettle of precious metals over the refiner's fire, the pot often threatens to boil over and those ugly impurities begin to surface.

Is this bad? Not at all! Those impurities were already there, whether we knew it or not. Probably the most surprising thing about homeschooling is what we learn about ourselves. We are also being schooled in the prism of grace. 

The answer to What now is not to run from failure, but to learn from it.

In his letter to the Roman church, Paul explained that within each believer rages two natures at war: the sinless, inner man who has been redeemed by Jesus Christ, and the old man, who operates through the desires of the flesh. The new man does not sin 1. and is tormented by the selfish old man. Our real, redeemed inner souls are released from this corruptible nature either by physical death or the coming resurrection, when we receive a new, incorruptible body. 2.

Until the day of our release, are we doomed to everlasting failure and bondage to the filthy old nature? Of course not! By the daily crucifying ("I die daily") of the old nature, we let the new man reign through Christ.

Thanks to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! There is therefore now no condemnation for those wo are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

Romans 7:25; 8:1-2

Is this freedom a license to sin? No, but it releases us from the guilt and self-condemnation that rushes in after repentance, when we have disappointed ourselves, our loved ones, and our God. We always have the hope of a fresh beginning, a new day. We can always start again.

The heat is a necessity.

J.C. Brumfield, in his wonderful little booklet Comfort for Troubled Christians, explains how trial is the fire the Holy Silversmith builds under our earthly kettle. This kettle contains two substances, the precious silver, and the worthless dross. As the fires of trouble burn hotter, our Master, like the silversmith, stands near the kettle, watching to ensure the fire never gets too hot. 

In the heat, the dross of our sinful natures separates from the silver and rises to the surface. The Holy Spirit shows us these sins, not to condemn us, but to convict us for righteousness' sake. Each time we repent and turn away from a sin, some dross is skimmed off. Thus we, like the precious metal, are purified.

How did the silversmith of old know when the silver was ready? When he could see his reflection in the surface of the silver. Through the heat of each trial, we are being refined until our very lives shine with the reflection of God's image.3.

For Thou hast tried us, O God; 
Thou hast refined us as silver is refined.

- Psalm 66:10

The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold,
But the LORD tests hearts.

- Proverbs 17:3

Take away dross from the silver,
And there comes out a vessel for the smith....

- Proverbs 25:4

Therefore, if a man cleanses himself from these things,
he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

- 2 Timothy 2:21

So, what happens now? 

When we mess up, we own up to it, ask for forgiveness, and start again. The lessons learned will far outweigh whatever we could have gained from Algebra I. 

  

1. Romans 7:17, 20

2. 1 Corinthians 15: Romans 8:23

3. J.C. Brumfield, Comfort for Troubled Christians (Chicago, Illinois: Moody Press, 1961), pp. 4-14.

 

Pioneer Files: The Hill We Die On

 

We take captive the rebel mind
Let the fire refine, if we compromise
We jeopardize
Daughters and sons, who they become
Show them the hill that we die on
The fight for the soul, is here and now
While every heart beats like a war drum pounds

"Trenches" by Jeff Lehman

Behold the Beloved

Hope Will Arise

https://beholdthebelovedmusic.com/                                                                                                                     

Rebel Mind

We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, 

and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ....

- 2 Corinthians 10:5

They chant in the streets, wave the flags of racist organizations, and assault people of a different ethnicity. Reminiscent of the Ku Klux Klan marches of the South in 1866 and the Nazi rallies in America in the 1930s, this new wave of hate dirties our cities as society devolves into chaos. Many of these rebels were groomed in the arena of public thought and education while ill-conceived government policies assaulted the family on every front.

Incensed parents have called out errant school boards, principals, and teachers who violated their sacred trust. Many have taken their children out of public school to be tutored privately or homeschooled. 

It's one thing to rail against a broken public education system, though. It's an entirely different challenge to take on the molding of a new generation ourselves. As the public education sector has flamboyantly demonstrated, children do learn what they live...and live what they learn. Home education is an awesome tool for both literacy and character development. 

Then the question remains. What will they learn?

Set the books down for a moment.

One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, 
And one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.

- Proverbs 16:32

Kids are sponges. Almost from the womb they are absorbing their environment. Soon they are mimicking a parent's every move. In the teen years, their individuality asserts itself and they see their parents in a different light. They often become hypercritical of every move a poor parent makes and use our real or imagined flaws to justify their newfound desire to rebel. But they're still watching. 

Since we are all flawed, parents have no chance to get everything right. You can't be the perfect parent. The key here is consistency and choosing your battles. How do you know what battles are the important ones? 

In any war, you can tell the importance of the ground you are on by the amount of resistance you encounter from the enemy. 

Who's your enemy? Not your children, of course. Your enemy is Satan. He really hates relationships and will do everything possible to destroy your relationship with your family. Your dedication to your family is a declaration of war on hell. The devil will fiercely resist you. Expect a lot of bewildering distractions and messy days as God reveals your own weaknesses and the holes in your parenting skills. Expect it, and learn from it. Navigate the stormy waters with humility. Let your children see you work through issues and choose the path of integrity, even if it means a loss for you. They don't need to know every detail of everything happening around you. They just need to see authenticity and tenderness.

What do you want to give your children for eternity? Is it just teaching them to read and write? Is it just creating a safe place for them to grow up? Or is there more?

Choose your hill.

Since your children are watching your every move, give them what counts. Conquer your own rebel mind. Choose righteousness; listen to God; press into your faith. Decide what hill you will die on. Let your family see you making the hard choices. If you cave to pressures to compromise at home or at work, they will only learn there is nothing worth fighting for.

 

You can't create perfect children or give them a perfect life. You can, with God's help, show them how to live; how to bask in the sunshine, dance in the rain, and reach toward heaven through it all.

Pioneer Files: The Greatest Lesson

 

There's one thing our children really need to learn.

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 

-Romans 6:16 (NIV)

Through the wonders of DNA, I've learned a lot about my ancestors. I've discovered that many of them came early to this country. Some were bond-servants. Some were slaveowners. Others became share-croppers. Members of my family fought on both sides of the Civil War.

From this mixed and messy lineage I have learned the horrific price our nation paid for the sin of slavery.

One of the most basic human desires is the yearning to live free from oppression. But bondage takes many forms, and it is a terrible thing to be enslaved to our own appetites. Sin creates chains only God can break.

No one has to live this way.

When Jesus Christ was born, the world lay chained to sin. To rescue us, the Creator did the unthinkable. He left the glory of heaven, stepped into His creation, entered time and space, and inhabited a human body. He emptied Himself and purposely became a servant for us, in order to purchase our redemption.

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.

- Philippians 2:5-7 (NKJV)

Imagine creating two clay pots, leaving your nice living room to live in one of the pots, and allowing the other pot to break you. 

For Christ, there was much more. As His creation crucified Him, He suffered the deeper agony of God's fury poured upon Him in our place. He didn't have to do it. He cared that much. "For God so loved" is not a trite cliché. It is written in the blood of a God who allowed Himself to be crushed to buy our freedom.

What a great love! What an unthinkable sacrifice! What a gift!

God asks just one thing from us.

He wants our lives.

Because He bought us at such a great price, we rightfully belong to Him. Our surrender must be complete: heart, mind, body, and soul.

This part of the gospel sticks in our collective craws. We like to have our own way without the hassle of accountability. Submission to Christ means giving Him control over everything. There is a personal cost in ridding our lives of the things that dishonor Him in order to wear His name with dignity and live in victory. But how beautiful it is to live in the freedom that comes with serving righteousness instead of our own appetites!

When we make Him Lord of our hearts, we commit our futures to One who is wise and faithful. In the light of His servanthood to His Father during His time on Earth, the sacrifices He asks of us are small. There is joy in giving God our bank account, our home, our time, and our dreams.  

Servanthood to a sovereign like the great I AM is the ultimate freedom.

and He died for all, so that they who live would no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. 

          - 2 Corinthians 5:15 (NASB)

Our natures rebel at the notion of giving up our rights.

Everyone serves something. We're all slaves to either sin or righteousness. Which we serve determines the course of our lives.  

A slave is bound to serve his master. It doesn't matter how tired he is, or if he has his own needs. As long as his rights lie in the hands of another, he has no say in what happens to him.

Even in this, our God is unique. This sovereign we serve grants us unlimited access to Him. He's available at any hour to hear our petitions or to just talk. He is always listening. Our God is not a cruel taskmaster, though our old nature tells us that when life gets hard. Returning to captivity is never the green pasture it appears, though, and slavery to ourselves is the worst bondage. The Psalmist said it best: 

For a day in Your courtyards is better than a thousand elsewhere.                  I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God                  Than live in the tents of wickedness.

- Psalm 84:10 (NASB)

All of us will serve one master or another. Christ offers us freedom from the destruction and guilt of serving ourselves. Serving Him brings joy out of this world.

Where does your allegiance lie? Who do you serve?

But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.

- Romans 6:17 (NIV)

Like most families, ours has endured our share of trials and tragedies. Many times we thought we weren't going to make it through the storms of life. I've watched my grown children reach for God in their deepest pain, and I'm convinced we wouldn't have survived had we not clung to the Lord Jesus.

Our lives are perfect, but by His grace we stand today, and by His grace we will serve Him.

There is no better way to live and nothing better you can teach your children. 

Pioneer Files: The Majestic Challenge to Every Parent

 

As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

- Joshua 24:15

When I first began homeschooling, my major fear was that I was going to ruin my children through my lack of teaching credentials. As a child, I had learned to read with Dick and Jane in a little rural Washington school by memorizing words in the reader. There was no rhyme or reason to why a word looked or sounded like it did. I believed the randomness of my education left me unprepared to teach others.

Our books and curricula arrived in the fall of 1982. My husband had insisted I only teach our son at home and put our eldest daughter in a Christian school for the year, expecting, as he admitted later, that I would only survive one year. 

With trepidation I unpacked the materials, plopped them on the table, sat down, and began to read. 

Then I cried. 

Phonics might as well have been a different language. 

There were actual rules on how to break a word into syllables? 

How had I managed to graduate from high school as an honor student and make it through my first year of college prerequisites for nursing? I couldn't even decipher the directions for the lessons. At that moment, I stood at the bank trembling at the new land before me. God told me this was the promised land, but all I could see were the giants.

Looking back now, I'm so thankful I crossed the river.

Free to Choose

It soon became clear that the challenge of homeschooling isn't teaching our children to read and write. It isn't finding the perfect system or books. The battle is living our own lives with integrity and teaching that to our children, in passing on the torch of faith to a new generation. 

The great statesman, reformer, and former slave Frederick Douglass is credited with this poignant reminder of the power of being able to read and write:

Once you learn to read, you will be forever free. 

Literacy puts great power into our hands. No longer chained by the locks of ignorance, we are freed to make our own choices. As Hamlet famously lamented, Ay, there's the rub.

What do we want to be? What will we feed our minds and souls? What are our children learning?

The man who lives without honor will not gain by education.

Three Options 

The nation of Israel wandered forty years in their long journey out of bondage in Egypt before finally crossing the Jordan. With great trepidation they entered this new land of promise. 

One of the two leaders who entered with joy was the warrior Joshua, who also led them to victory in this land from many of their enemies. When he became old, Joshua called the people together and presented them with this challenge:

Now, therefore, fear the LORD and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.

And if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: Whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

- Joshua 24:14-15

Would they serve the living God, or the gods of this world? These were their choices:

1. The gods of their fathers.
2. The gods of the land in which they now lived.
3. The living God who claimed their souls.

The gods of their fathers were the gods of Egypt, where they lived as slaves and the gods of their forty years in the wilderness. They represented the bondage of a life without the one true Lord. To serve these gods means to live in slavery.

The gods of the land in which they now lived were the idols of the inhabitants of the new land. These represented the pull of the world on us that keeps us distracted from hearing God's voice.

One Decision

Like literacy itself, homeschooling is a great tool through which we gain the freedom to teach our values to our children. But what values are they learning? 

The Israelites were given a bold choice: to serve the idols of this world or the God of the universe. 

This is our choice, as well. If we are serious about living in the land of promise and destroying the schemes of the Destroyer in our homes, we must turn our faces toward heaven. For this choice, we will pay a price.

We may be "counseled," mocked, and misunderstood. We may stand to lose our reputations and the admiration of others. We may lose friends and incur the wrath of our relatives.

Our time will not be ours any longer, and some pet projects will fall by the wayside. We may suffer a loss of income for our choice to stay home and care for our children. There may no longer be the money for the best tennis shoes, jeans or video games. We may lose our health.

Of course, none of this may happen. But what would we do if it did? We should be willing to count the cost of pressing into our faith and making the commitment to home education... and be willing to pay the price, should it come due.

After all, any of these things could happen, anyway. Compromise doesn't guarantee comfort. God intends for us to grow in grace and toward all He has for us. Either way, Joshua's majestic challenge stands before us today. Will we choose the old paths, new idols, or the Lord?

May God be with you in your journey!