The Virus with a Personality

 

Who Is Corona?

2020 was a tumultuous year, no doubt. The COVID-19 virus, officially known as SARS-CoV-2,  dominated the world stage in a big way. It killed half a million people in the United States alone, ravaged untold lives, and reshaped society. Many Americans have either had the virus, lost a loved one to it, or known someone who's been ill. The pandemic destroyed jobs, businesses, homes, schools, and friendships. Around the world, nations grappled with its vast effects.

A force this powerful has, understandably, elicited strong emotions in our culture as we fight to understand and defeat this threat in 2021. 

SARS-CoV-2 is now such a part of our lives that we have made it into a sentient being, endowing it with our own perspectives, fears, and personal worldview. The tendency to attach human traits to inanimate objects and animals is called personification. With COVID-19, we've remade a virus into our own image. 

How is COVID-19 human?

Sometimes it's polite.

A popular Christian speaker who flies a lot notes that the virus is very polite. That makes it possible, according to the airlines, for passengers to remove their masks while they eat. This assumes that the virus understands our need for sustenance and will keep proper distance in the cramped quarters of an airplane.

Oddly, this virus doesn't extend the same courtesy to those eating in a restaurant.

It respects boundaries and can do math.

By now, most of us are familiar with the designations on the floor marking out a six-foot space between you and the next person in line. At outdoor events, chairs are carefully spaced with that same six-foot bubble for you to enter. That's because the virus clearly understands its boundaries. It especially cringes when it sees a folding chair placed within a carefully drawn circle. It may be able to span oceans, but it knows a six-foot barrier when it sees it. Beware, though, because it can clearly measure and lurks just beyond that magic number.

It's a political animal.

Normally, it isn't a great idea to rub shoulders with a lot of strangers during a pandemic. You don't know where they've been and what they're incubating. But we learned in 2020 if you have a protest or political rally to attend, know that you have the blessing of COVID-19. It loves a righteous cause. If you are sincere enough, it will pass you by to find some dispassionate dude to infect. 

It hates churches.

Just don't try to attend church. COVID-19 is a Godless infiltrator, and the only answer is to shutter the doors and arrest or fine any group trying to worship together. 

It's a different story if you own a liquor store. Then the magical 6-foot rule applies, because unlike spiritual refreshment, booze is essential. 

It loves sports.

It loves sports so much, it ensures that on the field (floor, ring, bowling lane), participants can spit, yell, jump, hug, and hit each other with impunity. But the moment the big game is over, the virus is waiting to pounce. So hurry and get that mask back on.

It's a closet homeschooler and family man.

Give it some credit here. COVID-19 accomplished what generations of passionate home educators' associations couldn't: force people to find out what their kids are learning. Throw in a year of coerced togetherness, and we understand why the virus is keeping the liquor stores open. 

It knows we are trying to kill it.

Recently, scientists announced the virus is mutating, something viruses regularly do. Scientists explain this evolution is the virus' response to masks and handwashing. 

Wait.

Are they suggesting that the virus knows we're attempting to kill it and is changing its makeup to outwit us?

Depending on your background, politics, religion or lack thereof, COVID-19 subscribes to one or more of the following ideologies:

Socialist propaganda. COVID-19 wants world domination, which it has nearly accomplished.

Right-wing propaganda. COVID-19 wants world domination, which it has nearly accomplished.

Racist propaganda. It hates some people more than others.

Ageist. See above.

Media propaganda. The virus has a great public relations program to keep people cognizant of its ability to help them mold society. 

Mask haters international. The virus laughs at those foolish enough to incorporate a device used by medical professionals for decades to inhibit the spread of disease. Anyone spotted using one is labeled a liberal socialist sheep. In fact, COVID-19 has convinced some people they will actually get sicker by wearing a mask. This explains why doctors and nurses always look so tired and ill.

Mask lovers anonymous. The virus loves it when people don the mask, constantly adjust it all day with dirty hands, roll it up into their jeans pocket, and toss it on the kitchen counter to use the next day. Let the people think the mask is magical. Germs will not stick to it, just like wearing the same pair of gloves through a store keeps germs from sticking to our hands.

The Truth Is...

The pandemic has profoundly impacted our society. It has revealed our inadequacies, prejudices, and intolerance. It has also lifted up the best in us, reminding us of what is, and is not, important. The greatest thing we can learn from the virus is that life is a precious and fragile gift. 

Never take it for granted.

Look at that. COVID-19 is a teacher, too.