Pioneer Files: Skeptics and Critics, Part 2

 

When we can ignore the skeptics

After years of moving around the country while my father pursued a career in broadcasting, my folks finally settled on an old homestead overlooking a sprawling river valley in the spring of 1963. My brother and I spent many happy summers at the nearby beaches and quickly learned to respect the river's swift currents.

Swimming against the flow makes a good statement on a t-shirt. Facing a real undertow in the societal tide of public opinion is intimidating.    

Exodus 14:14 (NASB)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent.

In the early years of homeschooling, I felt much intimidated by the critics. I eventually realized it’s useless to argue with them or worry about their opinions. The best response is to listen to the criticism, smile, and move on. We don't answer to them. 

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

Luke 23:34 (NASB)

The devil would like nothing better than to use a good thing to force a wedge into our relationships and tear them apart. We just have to let go of the urge to defend ourselves and let our actions speak for themselves.

Criticism is a great purifier. It’s one way God gives us a gut check on our motives and goals. Sometimes the questions homeschoolers get asked are valid. Why ARE we teaching our children at home? Are our convictions solid enough to live out on the stage of public scrutiny? 

Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.

Matthew 11:19b (NASB)

The best recommendation we can receive is when others see the Lord Jesus doing a good thing in our lives. A life lived quietly before God can banish criticism better than any argument we can muster. When people see us walk out our faith, they will know our God is real. Then we can rejoice before the Lord when He takes our meager efforts and blesses them.

When we need to listen

Sometimes criticism is rooted in truth, the reaction of others to an unhealthy attitude they see in us. If we act smug or self-righteous, or if we carry around an air of martyrdom because we stay at home and care for our own kids, others may feel resentful and probably for good reason.

Perhaps in the past we have been prone to flit from one “ministry” or "cause" to another without real direction or commitment. In this case, we are going to have to prove we are serious by stepping up to the new challenge in steadfastness and discipline. 

God taught me more through homeschooling than I ever taught my own children.

It’s also important to validate the efforts and love of the many educators that serve in public and private schools. They have a really hard job. We are, after all, co-laborers toward a common goal.

Then there's Noah

Our work with our children, even under the best of conditions, will probably aggravate somebody at some point. Those who aren’t in sympathy with the homeschool movement may feel intimidated by the homeschooler’s role as teacher. Others may feel convicted by a parent’s commitment to his children. Others are just opinionated and need to share that opinion with us.

By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

Hebrews 11:7

What we’re doing with our children flows from the same heart response that moved Noah to lead his family to salvation. The ark he built represented his faith and obedience to God’s word. He set his sights on completing the job entrusted to him and ignored the criticism and mockery he undoubtedly experienced. He committed himself to the long haul and kept his eyes on the goal.

In the end, his obedience and toil were rewarded. May God take our small, stumbling steps of faith and empower us to walk in that same obedience.

Your Redemption Is Coming

 

And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up and lift up your heads, for your redemption draws near.       - Luke 21:28 Jubilee Bible

Why do you look for the living among the dead? -Luke 24:5 NASB

Cars lie mangled in the middle of the highway. Red and blue lights pulse against the wet asphalt as an ambulance slowly backs up to the carnage. A woman stands weeping next to a solemn officer. Traffic crawls past the wreck in funeral procession as a policeman impatiently motions for the line to move on. His eyes plead, “Please, don’t make it a spectacle.”

But we can’t help it. We have to look.

Inexplicably, we’re drawn to the life-and-death struggles. I don’t know if it’s curiosity or fear that feeds the need for people to watch disasters unfold. The appetite for the macabre may just be a reflection of the world in which we live, a culture that spends millions of dollars to be entertained by the most perverse images Hollywood can conjure up. Death compels us to look. In the process, we lose the respect for life that once helped preserve society.

This world is trapped in a race to perdition.

Every act of rebellion feeds the engine. Every time humanity spits in the face of God, we lunge closer to the edge of the abyss. We argue on social media about what is happening and why. We watch with fascination and a sick stomach as this planet plunges toward a fearsome end. We pass by each injustice in procession, eyes glued to the gore as we shake our heads in disgust and worry about our future.

Sometimes we wonder, "Where Is God?"

One thing's for sure: We won't find Him by wandering through the tombs.

Why do you look for the living among the dead?

Jesus told us plainly that when certain signs begin to come to pass upon the earth, it's time to look up. Unlike us, He's not mesmerized by the horror surrounding us. He's actively engaged in our welfare and extending deliverance to all who ask. We're commanded to follow in His footsteps, to reach beyond our own suffering to serve others. Our world is filled with hurting people. We are all broken on some level, and we will continue to suffer as we journey alongside those intent on destroying themselves and others. 

All humanity may be trapped on the same planet, but we have different destinations. Believers must be aware and informed in order to be active members of society. Aside from that, we can't fixate on the gruesome and vulgar spectacles assaulting our senses. Our Captain plainly directed us to keep our eyes off the storms and lift our faces to heaven. In a moment, any moment of any day, He could return for us.

 One day, He will. Are you prepared to see His beautiful face?

Pioneer Files: Dance with the One that Brung Ya

But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places, who call out to the other children and say, "We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn." - Matthew 11:16-17

Skeptics, critics, everybody's watching.

As you embark upon this homeschool journey, you may find dealing with the critics and skeptics one of your first and most emotionally exhausting battles (especially if you are a people-pleaser like me and hate confrontation).

Thankfully, the homeschooling movement is now largely accepted in much of this country and enjoys a large following. But when I first considered homeschooling in 1982, I was met with unanimous disapproval by my family and friends. Not one person thought I was doing the right thing. Some of them took pains to pull me aside to talk some sense into me. Even my husband said the idea was crazy. He was understanding enough, thankfully, to let me try it. My family eventually became my most solid support base and source of help.

The real surprise was the amount of resistance I received from my brothers and sisters in the Lord. Prevailing attitudes about homeschoolers have mellowed, and many churches support home education today. But in the early years, my most bitter criticism initially came from God’s family. I was chastised for not committing to church programs and not being at expected church functions. I was told that my life was unbalanced because I spent my time at home with my children and husband instead of being at all the church activities. 

The criticism may have been well-meaning, but it made a hard decision even harder. It greatly contributed to the stress I already felt as a young mom who was fairly new in my faith and overwhelmed with the challenges of raising four little ones. How desperately I needed an older, wiser hand to lead me forward and encourage me! It would have been awesome just to have known another homeschooler with whom to compare notes and "talk shop." 

I knew of no one. It was a lonely journey for many miles.

Jesus calls the tune to which we dance.

During these early years, God taught me valuable lessons in resisting peer pressure and striving to please Him rather than people. I also learned, mostly through my own mistakes, not to react personally to criticism, and to never see a critical person as my enemy. It never hurts to hear out the critics, be willing to take wise counsel, and respond with grace. Then do what you know God has called you to do.

The journey to educate my own children thoroughly “schooled” me in the ways of God. In the beginning, I quickly learned three important lessons:

• Listen always for the voice of God, even it comes through a critic. Especially if it comes through a critic.
• Ask God if anything in the criticism presents a legitimate concern or is simply an attack of the enemy. Talk it through with your spouse or a trusted advisor if you are confused about what to believe.
• Respond in a Christlike manner to the skeptics. 
• Adjust your path forward accordingly.

Our efforts with our children will eventually rise or fall on their own merits. Home education is just a tool in the hands of God to educate an entire family in His ways.

Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds - Matthew 11:19

Pioneer Files: The Walk that Changed My Life

 

It's okay to breathe.

We've talked a lot about discipline in the previous posts. Today, I want to assure you it's okay to relax, to find your family's rhythm of life as you and your children grow up together. Train and rest. Work and play. Learn by trial and error what's most effective in reaching those hearts and minds you long to present to God.

  

The beauty of a home education is its flexibility. Some days God had different plans for us than the ones I made. Many times an illness, family tragedy, unplanned visitor, or impromptu field trip invaded my neat lesson plans (yes, I made lesson plans). Then I tried to take a deep breath and flow with the day. After all, this was a good way for my children to get a taste of real life uninsulated by the artificial culture of an institutional atmosphere.

These interruptions provided important opportunities for learning as our children watched us interact with others and respond to life’s pressures and demands.

Please, please, make time for fun.

We loved to occasionally surprise our children with time off for a special family field trip. We even took days off just to relax at home. It usually didn’t take long to recover lost ground. I just tried to not make it a habit to let trivial distractions consume our days. It took determination to keep going every day, year after year, and to keep moving toward our goals.

Daily experiences are wonderful teaching resources. Often the best lessons emerge from odd moments or spontaneous conversations. A lunchtime discussion of the news or the discovery of a bird’s nest during a morning walk can provide happy memories and direct our attitudes in a life-changing way.

The Walk that Changed My Life

As a teenager, I was already an avowed evolutionist, well-trained by my public school teacher to regard as backward anyone who believed in special creation by God. But one beautiful spring day, my beloved little Irish grandmother came to visit us. At barely 4'11", she was one of the few people who made me feel tall. She and I took a walk in the sunshine, just basking in the joy of each other’s company and conversing in the natural way that sometimes only grandparents and grandchildren can.

That day we fell onto the subject of evolution as we walked. I defended it with youthful egotism; she opposed it gently. At that moment we happened upon a bird’s nest perched in the branches of a dwarf fruit tree, lying low enough for our inspection. Our movement disturbed the young birds, and in unison they bobbed their fuzzy heads out of the nest and popped open their wide red mouths in a raucous bid for breakfast.

Grandma Jean and I chuckled over our discovery. She wrapped her small hands around the rough nest and looked at me with a smile. The memory of that moment before her next words is preceded in my mind by the sensation of a page tearing into two distinct pieces.

BC and AD. 

Before Christ and In The Year of Our Lord.

 Then she asked me a question.  

“Pam, can you look at this and tell me there is no God?”

I was cut to the quick. This was no scientific debate, no angry exchange of facts and theories. It was nothing less than the Spirit of God blasting through my ignorance, using a beloved grandmother to draw my heart to Him.

To this day, I can't explain why her simple statement touched me so deeply.

I can only tell you that when I looked at the nest and those little birds inside it, the scales over my eyes crashed to the ground. I knew without a doubt that I was wrong. Only much later would I read the first chapter of the epistle to the Romans and learn that creation itself testifies to the reality and nature of the Creator.

For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. 

- Romans 1:20

Grandma Jean died a few years later. But that one day sent me on a journey to find her God and to know Him as she did. It also taught me to never underestimate the work of the Holy Spirit in the simple things we do with our children.

Sometimes we just have to close the books and listen to the song of creation. God speaks louder through what has been made than through our attempts to explain Him. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your family is to cancel the lesson plans. Take a walk with the kids, fill your lungs with the joy of being alive, and let God lead your path through parenting.

Pioneer Files: Train in the Sand

 

Learn from the elders.

We live on the Nez Perce (Nimiipuu) Indian Reservation in Idaho. The Nimiipuu are renowned for the breeding and training of Appaloosa horses. A tribal elder, a friend and neighbor of ours, once told me that his people used to train their horses by running them along the sandy beaches of the Clearwater River. Running in the deep white sand overdeveloped the horses’ leg muscles. Then when they raced their horses on dirt courses, their animals easily outdistanced their competitors.

If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out,

Then how can you compete with horses?

If you fall down in a land of peace,

How will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?

Jeremiah 12:5 (NASB)

Prepare your children now for life's trials. 

Our families face incredible challenges and trials as this age draws to a close. We must set our hearts on training our young people so that they can run like the wind when they are put to the test.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Therefore I run in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NASB)

Teach them with the same gentleness and consistency your heavenly Father guides you. You are in training, too.

God calls us to train in such a way, exercising self-control and self-denial, so as to be able to run our race with patience and finish our journey with joy. With our eyes on the prize, we are learning together, both parents and children, to be like our Master.

The real joy of any job is doing it with all our might before our Lord, knowing that every day is a gift we are given to enjoy with Him and our families, whether we are working, studying, or playing. With our “eyes on the prize” of the high calling in Christ Jesus, we choose to ignore the length of the road before us and the potholes along the way.

When the finish line fills our sight, the way forward is clearer, the hurdles less intimidating. 

Never fear, dear ones. Run like you're going to win. 

Pioneer Files: You Know You've Crossed Over When You Look Forward to Mondays

 

FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES - Hebrews 12:6 (NASB)

Discipline Is a Good Thing

Isaac Newton’s first law of motion states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest. When we educate our children at home, we have to overcome a scientific law just to get going each day!

It’s normal to feel mentally and emotionally spent after a session with our children. Besides the natural inertia that we have to overcome, we are fighting a spiritual battle each day for our families.

So you, dear parent, will be tired and often discouraged, because you are in a marathon. The finish line is in your heart but not in your line of sight. Every day you are fighting the good fight. Many days are just hard. But you’ve moved a bit forward every day.

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. -Hebrews 12:5b-11

Routine: Bringing Order to Our Hectic Lives

It worked for us to begin each day at about the same time. The length of the study day varied widely, depending on such factors as the difficulty of the assignments, any extra projects, the age of the children, and our own will to concentrate. This time frame protected us from outside demands on our time and gave us a sense of structure. A routine gave us a sense of structure and security. After a hectic weekend, we often looked forward to the peace and quiet of Monday morning.

Really!